Sunday, May 29, 2011

It's time to go back to work...

     So, I think I have decided to go ahead and seek full time employment, and attend school at night. Unfortunately, Unemployment is simply not enough to enjoy the lifestyle that we are use to. Part time jobs are difficult to come by right now. The few I have found pay so little, that its hardly worth trying to work all the hours for the small pay.
     I have 2 more interviews lined up this week. One on Tuesday and one on Wednesday. The one on Wed. is for a sales position at a rather large auto dealership in Memphis. I have often toyed with the idea of going into auto sales, but I have honestly always been afraid to take the leap. This particular company guarantees $5000 salary during training as well as some other benefits. The pay would have to be really good for me to make the commute though.
     As much as I would like to stay at home and attend school and not work, I just don't think its feasible to do so. I spend more time worrying about money than its worth. Plus its unhealthy for me.
     I do have some good news though...I went to the doc a couple of days ago, and I have dropped 11 lbs since my first weigh in at Fitness Bootcamp. Thats good news!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

3rd Wedding Anniversary

I dug up an old video that we played at our wedding in honor of our wedding anniversary. I hope y'all enjoy.

Sunday, May 22, 2011


For those of you wondering, I have been keeping a food diary, but I have been doing it on paper for the people at the fitness boot camp. I will need to get some items moved over to so please stick with me during the switch over.


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Bigger Fatter Loser

     I went to fitness boot camp today and got weighed and measured. I'm upset, and yet somehow not surprised to report that I now weight 371 lbs. I'm not going to let it get me down though. I know part of the reason is me not working, and sitting around the house too much. Also the fact that I went 3 weeks without dieting while quitting my paxil.
    My first day of fitness boot camp starts tomorrow, and I'm ready. I have a feeling that the deal me and Cornelius is working out is going to a life changer. I'm not entirely positive at this point, but I believe that my program is going to include the meal plan. That means, not having to worry about counting every calorie. Just stick to my meal plan, and I'll be good to go. He told me a success story today about a guy that weighed 400 lbs and did his program with great success. He started in January and has lost 50 lbs since then.
     Cornelius says that we will work out a meal plan and weight loss goal tomorrow, so I will update you guys when I talk to him.

Stay Tuned! Things are about to get interesting!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Big Fat Loser has its very first sponsorship!

     We have a local fitness boot camp that is all the rage in town. A lot of people attend the classes, and its kind of an in your face weight loss program. I honestly don't know much about the company aside from the fact that they  yield amazing results, and cater to any body size and type. My mother has used them for about a month.
     I have to admit, I got the email from Boot camp this morning after my email questioning a sponsorship. When I opened it, all it said was "Its a done deal, Call me to work out the details". My first thought was elation. Followed quickly by "Oh shit, this dude is going to make me work". I feel like this is what I need in a weight loss program. I need somebody behind me pushing me. I know my readers do the best they can to do this for me, but this is someone that will be here physically to smack me around if I screw up (not literally).
     I don't know the details or the extent of the sponsorship yet. I am suppose to speak with Cornelius today hopefully. Then I will know something more, and I will post it here. Expect plenty of updates on my progress with Fitness Boot Camp.

For those of my local readers that may be interested in joining me when I start, here is their website.

I can't wait!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Jesusland...What does it mean to you?

     I've been listening to a lot of Ben Folds lately, leading up to our meet and greet concert in August. I've taken it upon myself to start listening closer to lyrics and less to the song as a whole. I was driving around today and listening to one of BF's older albums, "Songs for Silverman" (which coincidentally has the song that our daughter was named after). I heard the song Jesusland, and the longer I listened to it, the more it made sense. I must have listened to it 4-5 times before making my own interpretation of the lyrics.  When I parked at the grocery store, I looked up the songs actual meaning on one of my favorite websites only to discover I wasn't far off.
      My family and friends (and friends family) may be reading this and thinking "my lord, this kid is off the beaten path." That may be true, but like any other self proclaimed religion, I have my own beliefs in what I believe "God" means. Now, does that mean I am not christian? Maybe to some people this is how it seems, but I assure you, my family is very spiritual. My children will be raised exactly as I was....Learn and Know the bible. However, when my children get old enough to start asking questions, and make sound decisions, it will be their decision which religious path they choose, and I support them 100%.
With all of that out of the way, I will get back to my original point. I apologize for the ramblings, but there may be some people that need to understand my point of view. Jesusland is about the mass commercialization of Religion (in whatever form it takes for you). It illustrates Jesus walking through America. What would he think? How would he feel? "You" in the song represents Jesus, I believe, and it really hits home once you think about the lyrics. Not everyone is guilty of commercialization, but I think that any person would agree on at least some points that the song makes. Without further rambling, I present to you, Jesusland by Ben Folds. I will warn you, the first 5 seconds are hard to listen too....Nobody likes a clashing harmony...

Take a walk
out the gate you go and never stop
past all the stores and wig shops
quarter in a cup for every block
and watch the buildings grow
smaller as you go

Down the tracks
beautiful McMansions on a hill
that overlook a highway
with riverboat casinos and you still
have yet to see a soul


Town to town
broadcast to each house, they drop your name
but no one knows your face
Billboards quoting things you'd never say
you hang your head and pray

for Jesusland

Miles and miles
and the sun goin' down
Pulses glow
from their homes
You're not alone
Lights come on
as you lay your weary head on their lawn

Parking lots
cracked and growing grass you see it all
from offices to farms
crosses flying high above the malls
A longer walk

through Jesusland

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Time to get back on track...

     As most of my readers will know, I have been a taking a hiatus from the weight loss end of things since deciding to quit Paxil. I did so under the instruction of my Dr. I finally feel like I am getting back to feeling like myself. In fact, I have heard it from others as well. They say that I seem more like my old self now. Truthfully, I am starting to feel the same way.
     Granted, some withdrawal symptoms are hanging around a little longer than others, hence my posting this blog at 2AM. The Brain Zaps are still present, but they are much less often, and not as debilitating as they were. Seeing as how I am feeling so much better, I think it's time to get back on the wagon with the weight loss journey.
    To kick off this journey on the right foot, I will not be playing Halo this weekend at all starting immediately, and Amanda will attest to this. I will be active tomorrow, by cleaning out the garage, and doing some things around the house that have been neglected over the last month.
    A necessity for this to work is a stable bedtime schedule. I have gotten the go ahead from the doctor to switch from Klonopin to Ambien to help with sleep, and I will be in bed by 1AM on a nightly basis, and up by 9-10AM. This is going to be difficult especially since the worst withdrawal effect I am having is insomnia.
     Starting tomorrow, I will begin my detox. I will have 1 gallon of Green Tea (lightly sweetened with Splenda) and 1 gallon of water. I will then begin my diet and exercise diary again on Monday. This means that my diet starts Monday! You have my word that I will update my food/exercise diary EVERY SINGLE DAY.
     I appreciate everyone's support, and I'll need to continue to receive it to be successful, so keep it up!!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Amanda's birthday gift

BEN FOLDS TICKETS!!! The concert is on yourbirthday

Things are looking better....

     Well, aside from the fact that it's 4AM things seem to be going fairly well.Tonight was night 4 with no paxil. The only side effect that I am really noticing is "brain zaps". These can be very disheartening, but I'm trying to hang in there. Amanda says she can tell a difference in my demeanor, but I honestly don't feel it. The only thing I feel are brain zaps. I have been taking omega 3 fatty acids, and I ordered some L-Tryptophan to help with sleep and seratonin levels.
     Since I have felt decent, I have been doing some Vlogging, so I expect to have a new video up late tomorrow, or early Thursday. I have just been trying to take it easy, and stay away from stress while the withdrawal process wraps up. I have also been drinking ALOT of water. I bought a new water bottle, and I named it "Gus" for reasons obvious to only a few people. So its like.."baby, will you fill Gus up for me" lol.
    I called the doc today to see about getting a refill on my ambien, and I think I am going to start taking it nightly until I get things back to normal. I have got to start going to bed at a decent hour. This sleep schedule of 5-12 is killing me. Anyhow, I just wanted to check in to let you guys know that I'm still kicking, and its getting better every day!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Practical Amanda....Lyrics are so true

Who'd look at that dump and see a home?
Why not move in somewhere easy?
Urinals where bedrooms ought to be
Who could be bothered,really?

You're really good at all that stuff
The nuts and bolts of living
Curtains, blinds and kitchen tables

I've got no time for dates and plans
No I'm too busy dreaming
You're the one with the attention span
You're not the free wheeler

Practical, practical
Saved one life
And made two others
Practical Amanda

Who'd look at me
And see someone
That might be
Worth redeeming
Head and heart
And soul fucked up
Who could be bothered, really?

I've got no time for dates and plans
No I'm too busy dreaming
You're the one with the attention span
Practical Amanda

Practical, practical
Saved one life
And made two others
Practical Amanda

Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard..

A lot of water

I had a gallon and a half of water today. I plan on doing the same tomorrow. Withdrawals have been limited to brain zaps only. So far so good.