Thursday, July 26, 2012

Did God find me...or is it a coincidence?

The Strangest thing happened to me.

     As most everyone knows, I was born and raised in a very christian home. In fact, up until about 7 yrs ago, I was a devout pentecost. I went to church, spoke in tongue, got the holy ghost....the whole nine yards. Im not sure where or when I lost faith, but I eventually labeled myself an agnostic. It was much easier to understand than the mystery that is God and the bible.
     I didn't want to believe that "God" would shroud himself in so much mystery and yet expect us to follow him blindly. I prayed for years in vain for some type of sign that he even existed. For in my mind, it was nothing more than a fairy tale. The bible was nothing more than an Aesop's Fables for Christians.
     It wasnt long after this line of thinking before I labeled myself an Agnostic Theist. Someone who believes in a higher power but believes that no one has the cognitive capacity to even begin to understand or interpret its meaning.
     This is something that I had personal struggle with for many years. I wanted my children to grow up in a home where they were tought about Jesus and The Holy Bible. At the same time, I knew that I couldn't objectively teach them with my beliefs, so I left the religious stuff to my parents and grandparents.
     For some reason (im still not sure why) I decided last night to pray. I asked the lord to give me SOMETHING, ANYTHING. Any type of sign to show me he is still there, and he still cares about me, or that he even exists. I went on to explain that I felt a certain amount of guilt for the way I have been thinking, and for dismissing him so quickly when things turned to crap in my life. I remember falling asleep in the middle of my prayer.
     Today was unremarkable. Work went as smoothly as could be expected, and I went and got groceries and got a haircut, and just upon my daily business.

I got home and checked the mail, and this is where things got rather strange. Either a crazy coincidence or the hand of God.

I checked the mail, and inside was a hand written letter. The envelope was hand written and there was a stamp on it. It was addressed to Ronnie Boling. and when i opened it, I found a hand written letter from a lady that i have never heard of asking me to join her in worship at a local church. I immediately called everyone i knew to see if they knew the lady that sent me the message. Nobody had ever heard of her. So here I am with this letter, inviting me to church the DAY AFTER I prayed for God to give me a sign. Even though I am not a religious person, my heart strings are really tugging at me and telling me to visit this church. Almost a calming sensation, like this is what I need to do in my life in order to move forward. I have never been the type to buy into the hype of organized religion, but this is too great of an opportunity to pass up. I think I will be visiting.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Picasa Album and Indie GoGo link is live

Picasa Album and IndieGoGo link added on the right bar under important links.

Absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder...

     Instead, it makes my readers pissed, and makes me look lazy. I haven't made a post in a very long time unfortunately. I also have been waiting on my Blood Lipid and Blood Metabolic Panel to return to figure where to turn next.
     I have read alot about the Keto Diet, and have seen alot of results on Reddit by people at least close to my size. Truthfully, my priorities have been skewed. I have spent so much more time concerned with dating and thinking about others, that I haven't been taking care of myself. I told myself after the divorce that I would remain single and focus on my weight loss goals, but alas, it hasn't happened that way. How could I possibly expect to take care of a girlfriend right now, when I can't even take care of myself. I think its time to step back and remember that I can't hope to find someone until I'm truly happy with myself, and right now I just make myself nauseous. Not only because I'm still a fatass, but I haven't followed through with ANYTHING I said I would.
     At this point I'm surprised I have any readers left. I havent been logging my meals, because, well, I havent been eating right. Maybe logging my meals regardless of healthiness of said meals will help me see exactly where I'm getting the calories, and it will shame me. I have been trying to make good decisions when eating, but I really need to log this stuff.
     I'm sure anything I say at this point will be taken with a grain of salt until I actually start using my food and exercise journal. So, I wont make you any promises. Ill just let actions speak at this point. Hopefully if you are one of the few that have stuck with me through the months that I dont blog, will see a renewed interest in my blog. I know its hard to put your faith into something when the person asking for help isnt showing any type of will or determination, and for that I am sorry.

     I am going to drop my dating life for now, and just worry about me, nobody else to care for except me.

Other than that, there are no real updates to life. Still just working and trying to make a living. I do have a few updated pictures for you guys though.

Oh yea, I almost forgot, I got a cat for company. Her name is Melody. I got her when she was just under 6 weeks old, and its amazing how much company she is giving me.

I hope you guys will check out my facebook page. I havent really been video blogging much but I have kind of been thinking about starting it again. My mind has been nagging me about it.

Please keep reading and checking in. I post small updates when i change anything including my food exercise diary. So, if you are subscribed, you may see a few very small posts from my phone.I am also going to add a public link to my Picasa web album so I can stop posting a bunch of pictures in my thread as suggested by another reader. It seems to be a nuisance to some to have to scroll through the pictures to get to the text.

Ill try to get this set up today.